Welcome to the Inferno

Bongiorno tutti frutti! Molto grazzie per leggere mi scrivere. Perdonatte mon italiano terribile. Io sono uno novicio. I have no idea whether the above bears any resemblace whatosever to italian as iza spoken in italia. Il mio Dio, this is a rough-issimo place. And I am molto lonely and going a bit pazzola in ze 'ead! Iz like beingin za prizon. Every now and den ai go al da computer and ai look for dze nexta flighta home-a. But every time someone stop me. Iz very desperado for a teacher di inglhezi here. I want to slip away without paying for the penzione but i iz too much a grando pollo. If i go back casia mia - inghilterra -i think i regret it so i stuck here. I wake up the middle of night in grando terribile terror. every day in ze room in il penssione i no hear any english. I feel is losing I's nationale identite. I look at ze televisiono at 11 in the evening and can only find music truly terribile or sesso - soft sesso. Last night a young woman pazzola in ze head was molto angry with ze boyfriend so she throw all his clothes out a da windo. So he have no clohes for to wear so she feel granda pieta for what she have done so she give him her corset, her panties and her suspender to wear so he iz no naked. And of course he a wear them. Why she do that? Laidy on da television ighlezi no do thing like that. Non capito. Perhaps you like write me an explain what is going on here? I no understand. Arriverderci tutti frutti and tutti mi amare. Antonio